the truth about her

2008-12-20T19:30:00.002+08:00

i'm so hoping for the year to pass by...

2008-12-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

dhereic showed a few of jeff dunham's stand up show... and i literally laughed my ass off... literally.. and i still love russel peters though...

last night had a long long long long long...indeed long conversation with der... i just felt like strangling and punching him in the face but.. he was my conscience... i hated that he had to make reality slide back into me.. no matter what.. i still love der... as how it was before...

im confused.. i dont want another 'hyung' incident again... once was hard.. a second will just tear me right apart...

2008-12-14T22:04:00.003+08:00

CHRISTMAS!

Finally... here goes..

Venue: Mind's Cafe, Boat Quay
Date: 25th December 2008
Time: 6pm
Dress Code: Dress to Impress!

P.S we are having a gift exchange darlings... not less than $10 but!!..not more than $20 alrighties?... see you guys there!

2008-12-14T19:56:00.003+08:00

busy busy busy girl..... that's what i have been lately... im rushing everywhere to get stuffs.. Christmas pressies..practical joke's props.. my personal stuffs... and im trying so hard to pull things together.. especially work.. work.. so long that big fat bitch aint out.. i cant have any peace of mind.. i have loads of things to do and i have so lil time so i need to rush and use the computer.. but sometimes its the friends that i've made.. uncle stich.. win.. and dheriec the laughing gas buddy... that makes it all worth while=)

2008-12-12T14:16:00.002+08:00

oh my god my head is just spinning around....

skipped work today cause i just seriously dont feel like it... since im really an outcast in the admin department.. i fit just nicely with dhereic & cheeky uncle stitch!... i rather be with the boys than those stupid bitches who i tried to be superly nice as how Betty Suárez was.. but nevermind... i just countdown til that fugly biatch gets out and i shall take over her job=).....

all thanks to my sis and teh tarik... i spent hours on bed rolling on my bed til 4 in the morning.. another reason why i refuse to come work...and oh oh plus!!!.. dhereic & uncle stitch and win aren't around.. if any of these 3 are on leave .. im not coming at all!!..

2008-12-02T17:35:00.003+08:00

im like smiling like a mad bitch right now... hahahah.. so so so happy all thanks to a cute english chap=)=)...and today i had fun at work...laughing my ass off with some of my engineers...

thursday is my confirmation day...whoopee... my supervisor and I shall have a nice long talk.. and im going to spill out some beans.. i dont mean to be a bitch and rat out abt my admin girls but they are purposely giving hard times so im going to rat on her... in the office world.. you must play dirrrty to survive.. a fuckd up jungle it is here...

2 more days to my ex-students concert...cant wait!

2008-11-30T11:32:00.002+08:00

blew off some steam with der and hamd....laughed my ass off....the amount of tears rolled down the cheeks....just cant imagine these words came out from hamd's mouth...'sex is fun'...and of all people!!! you would expect it from der.. never hamd.. wahahahaha...

horny & hornier....

now..i just feel like picking up a guitar... and just strum it without any care in the world and sing along to avril's song...

2008-11-28T12:21:00.003+08:00

mood for this morning...=(

don't know why... my body cocked up too... im feeling cold and yet.. hot at the same time...
dhereic is on leave today.. meaning no smoke... saded...

work is bearable...dheriec is trying to teach me how not to care with office talk... he's my laughing gas buddy.. a small factor to why im feeling all gloomy... no plus side really today... just cant wait to go home and sleeeeeep!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-21T12:51:00.004+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
@#%*&^%#$@@@%$#*&^!!!!!!!!!

like WHAT THE FUCK...

is been like' what the fuck' for the past 2 weeks.. and only now i can breathe more.. all thanks to Dhereic.. my laughing gas buddy....
if weren't for him.. i still wont know how to manage work everyday!

2008-11-13T13:24:00.003+08:00

last night, i felt super crappy and then all numb..and like a huge cargo truck could just crash into me and i wouldn't feel a thing.. and i really wished 'superly' hard that the whole world could come into a still..

it's all the small little things that just rolled into this huge pile on my shoulder that i really just can't carry anymore...

2008-11-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

isn't it lovely?=)

its after midnight and i should like get some shut eye...but because im so stubbron even to myself...im up blogging about it.. and most probably be complaining to my colleagues about this tomorrow...

today... my hormones are just all over the place... one minte im all teary and choked up.. the next im giggling...and the next im just oh so fumed up inside...

i miss der & dan......................

i dont want to go to work... can i please dont?

2008-11-08T19:30:00.003+08:00

work!!! it has been sucking up all the juice in my brain for the past whole week... and i am so thankful i met up with the darlings!!!!!!!!

i really did unwind=)=)

I finally had a bitch date with the bff! its been like ages..went to the previous date spot PP!
and finally my first levi! Patricia Skinny..i so love you..

i so heart my bff.. chan ah dan=)

and the day after.... i finally had dinner with babe!... we too had not met up for a while..so nice catching up with stuffs...and and and and.. we finally got our 2009 schedule books! but but but... hahaha.. non-identical... it took me AN HOUR!... to decide between Spongebob&Hello Kitty... i even had to call a few of the darlings.. and the votes were... Spongey 3 Kitty 2.... but since bee says kitty.. i choose kitty... and babe chose the spongey

both are like totally cool... cause.. kitty's inside designs are nice and pretty.. but the cover is so plain.. and spongey's has a bold cover and a shopping list!!!!!!!..but but but it had the freaking TOKYO map... and i so dont want have any reminder of the fucking arsehole... so i was like.. Kitty then=)...

now... hamd and my bff are like playing GEARS OF WAR... DAN plays GEARS OF WAR!!...its like OMG.... wahaha... and im here singing at the top of my lungs.. like seriously at the top of my lungs=).... in such a very hyper mood singing like a crazy bitch dancing on my brother arm chair and swaying here and there and the 2 boys behind me cursing and swearing at one another for not killing the enemy and now they're running to their target and shooting everyone's head off and im like hahahahahaha and singing to what a wonderful world and then screaming to the boys GO GO GO RUN RUN CAN ONLY GO STRAIGHT and then they die and resuming with their previous checkpoint plotting their moves now and then finding the huge ugly monster and then dan screaming OMG OMG OMG

...hahaha...im such a happy girl this weekend... you piss me off you fucking die... you will really fucking die...

2008-11-02T18:19:00.005+08:00

they made things go like 'what'!

he just makes you go.... eeeee!!!!

meet the reporters of SAFRA RADIO, BERNAMA &... ner! whats yours again..hahaha

the old parliament house..

2008-10-25T12:22:00.002+08:00

Even with my hip all sprained... im so feel like doing some hardcore activities like.....

1.Paintball fights
2.Scuba-diving
3.Go-kart races
4.Bunjee -jumps!
5.Para-sailing
6.FENCING!!!!!!!........I've been dying to try on fencing!!!!

well really doesn't sound hardcore but.. lets get physical people.. life's too short to just spend money on clothes and facials and others... i want to feel the adrenaline rush in my blood...... i should get into a club or something!

2008-10-21T20:32:00.014+08:00

2008-10-14T12:39:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wish to be like superman... i wish i could fly really really really high up in the sky and just stay there and meditate... where no one can touch me..

i really felt like shutting off from the entire world yesterday... and once i hit my bed... i stayed motionless for an hour... i curled up into a ball.. blasted music to my ears.. eyes wide open staring at the ceiling fan and..... i froze... for an hour or more...

i dont want anyone talking to me... i heard enough... now its alll up to me to do the reflecting.. and i know my dearly beloved brought me up well... i will do the right thing=)

2008-10-13T13:20:00.003+08:00

im having a splitting headache... i thought that after my panicky weekend.. i might have a calm mind.. but no.. now i have no idea why my head is beating like a bass drum..

everyday in life.. in everything that i do.. i make a choice.. and when im facing a huge obstacle.. my beloveds are there to guide me... but this time round... i just feel that i should.. listen to my own instinct...and decide on it myself...

and i have made my choice.. i decided to stay... no matter what the outcomes are.... no matter what it takes.. im going to be with the one i really really do love.. my beloved darlings=)

2008-10-03T12:25:00.002+08:00

my september seems quick... with dozens of events lined up in a stretch....

finally got my first pay slip.. dissappointing since i didnt work full month... what a bummer.. im just hoping that it get through my account by 5... i need a haircut.. and yes.. get my color re done.. and bangs shortened..

last 2 weeks buzy learning new stuffs... and now... im just.. passing time drawing flowers.. sun.. bees... my cubicle has been dolled up with colourful cut outs... im only missing a pic of my and the beloved... that shall be placed on my cupboard door i guess.... the only thing that really fucking sucks.... im lunching alone.... the admin department divided into 2 during lunch hours and i dont think my 'mak cik' colleague wants to mingle with me ... how 'nice'

2008-09-28T13:24:00.002+08:00

sunday morning=)... rolling good times on my bed..lalala....

2008-09-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

im so bloody pissed......

Russell Peters's 2 night show in Singapore is SOLD OUT.... Its not even a month yet to the date.. buts its SOLD OUT.... fuck... i have been waiting for it for like a few years... and once i got to know of it... it fucking hell SOLD OUT!

2008-09-25T16:54:00.002+08:00

i need sleep.... i need sleep.... be gone dark baggy eyes.... im like so frustrated of this.. im so going to sleep around 9 and have at least 8 hours sleep.. and my weekends are just rolling & snoring aloud on my bed... Im not going to look like im taking drugs in pictures!!!!!I look horrendous enough in all the pics i took during hamd bday!....

.......... finally found a venue for tomorrow's event...... it better be good...

2008-09-23T12:34:00.001+08:00

cracking my head for the perfect venue for the celebration this friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

going nuts...

2008-09-22T23:22:00.001+08:00

this song is stuck in my head... plus.. it perks me up... like totally!!!

2008-09-21T14:38:00.003+08:00

Since no more late nights.... i can jolly well say goodbye to my panda eyes... and hello to my jogging routine!!!

Its about time for me to get back on the track... and this time round.. i shall fix our flabby arms and belly!!!!!... more sit up! more pull up... but no push up.. thats one thing i can never achieve!!!... i shall start by this tuesday!!!!!!!

ITS SUNDAY!...and my parents and sis will be out the entire day and heading to my uncle house to break fast... for me.. i just want to roll in my bed like good ol' times... roll roll roll and then nap... then roll roll and sing to the top of my lungs... and then roll more.. and finally.. a loooooooong goooood shower... or maybe i shall treat myself and have a nice dip in the tub=D...

LOVE MY SUNDAY=).....................

today's mood is perky....lalalalalalalalalaalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaalala

2008-09-18T12:35:00.001+08:00

my september has been like a roller coaster ride......

work is good... now its piling up.. but still.. slow and easy... nothing too stressful... i feel like im in a freaking frozen meat section in some supermarket.... waiting for my pass to be processed... then i will lunchie at the departure halls... well im more anticapting for my visits to the sunflower & butterfly gardens at T1&T3....

gosh...i miss perth...... i miss my kingspark!

2008-09-11T23:22:00.003+08:00

my 400th post!!!

oooo...wow... i didnt know i could rant so much for 2 years now...

anyways... work is freaking awesome... maybe for now.. cause... mostly... im quite buzy for only 5 out of the 9 hours i work... remaining hours are just surfing net... or toilet breaks... or trying to look for other work to get my hands on....

i didnt knew how freaking awesome the benefits i get...
1)Dental & medical & OT are the usual...
2)I have 24/7 all acess to T1,T2&T3 Passenger's Depature Hall & Baggage Claim area..this is the one that makes me love the job so mch more!!
-for lunch
-for shopping(10% off)
3)2 bucks a day for transport fare! Straight bus 10 mins journey..not benefits but makes life so much simple..=)

..... im just so happy.. with everything...family..friends..work..

2008-09-06T00:34:00.002+08:00

im lost.....

i had a tiny fragile infant in my hands... and slowly laid him on my chest... i couldn't feel more at ease than that...

2008-09-03T21:47:00.002+08:00

starting work on the 8th... wee... i still have another week of holiday... and fasting month is like....now..

lately one or two of my beloved are having troubles with their friends... I just find pettiness and child-like mannerism in this puny conflict their friends have fabricated.. Is it me or does confrontations seems passé...

for me.. this whole friends problems.. i faced it like a dozens of it back in secondary school time... me and bff dan had been there and done that... and look where we guys are... same goes to der i think.. we had a row like at least 3 times... me and cher.. i think we just have cold war... mainly because i kept having my annoying mood swings and constantly giving her the cold shoulder... so sorry that she had to stick with a pain in the ass like me... sorry babe!

things change... my way of solutions are more 'sophisticated' .. or says der... anyways...

speaking of bff.. im really missing my dan!!!..

oh yeah.. i wish to come clean.. i was bulimic...like so so long ago.. not to create any attention or whatever.. but seeing how much this 'size zero' addiction has cause a friend of mine seriously deranged... i just couldn't help but to speak out... my friend not only lost like half of his body weight... he probably had lost his marbles as well... the obsession of being a size zero starts looking pretty ugly especially when you keep forcing yourself to barf out every little things you eat... and all that is left is tight unhealthy wrinkly skins and bones.... eeww... so not hot...

2008-08-30T14:35:00.002+08:00

happy happy happy

i nailed the job that i applied for a few days ago... and im super happy with things
between me&bee...

Okay.. got the job.. so now.. i have to head to my step 2....

Step2; Find a good Private Diploma course.
Now... i need to decide and find a course.. Diploma in psychology?... Most likely... but still i need to really decide on this carefully.. I dont want to drop halfway like i did with the certificate of pre-school teaching.. that one really sucked!....

anyways... lets celebrate my beloved darlings!!

2008-08-29T01:43:00.004+08:00

Had a job interview.... not sure of the outcome until later today before 5.... its really nerver wrecking.... i kinda hoping i get this since its at changi airport=)... and no im not working inside..

later on i have to wake up super early to meet up the beloved bitches... off to pasir ris secondary.. i dont know why.. but i jst feel that that the temporary holding school that we guys spent our last year at... held more of our memories... do you guys agree?... or is it me alone?....

2008-08-28T00:31:00.001+08:00

blog under major construction=)

2008-08-25T22:12:00.003+08:00

i was super pissed with myself cause i spent the entire day being mad at bee.. the thought of giving more stress for bee to bear with just annoys me...but seriously... its really frustrating that i only get an hour or 2 with bee during the weekends... and usually sundays... he's coop up at home with the mom...

i know its hard for him to balance time for everyone including himself....indeed he's trying his best..... i just need to be more stronger in this relationship...

2008-08-19T10:10:00.002+08:00

got an interview today... and im super duper ultra uper lazy to go... plus... im totally not prepared for this... my resume not yet printed..i have no passport picture of myself that im satisfied with ...my testimonial not laminated... my o level cert can't be found... well for now... probably buried under shitnitz

im in my holiday mood...

an hour with bee last sunday just totally wreek... hoping our saturday would be better... getting a surprise pressie when he books out... still wrecking my brains out on what to get...

it seems his mom and me are competing for his attention.... doesnt get any easier..

2008-08-11T13:01:00.005+08:00

I don't like crowds... same goes to wedding...attended one yesterday and if it weren't for my dear uncle being the groom.. i would have just stayed home and sleep..

so i spent most of the time during the wedding being upset... i was more upset that i wasn't able to meet or even talk to bee before he books in last night...

so yesterday was just a crappy day... but still can have the time to cam whore a lil... shameless moment=)abdul & moi at the High School Musical concert

love love love

my definite fav=)

fooling around with me new sarong

my sis butts in

my first punjabi suit... its totally sweet=)

before we hit the scene!

after throwing tantrums she still wont smile

2008-08-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

im used to bee not being around..still.. i wish he could appear right next to me when i have my long rides home....

me babe and our dear chipmunk did not have our yogurt today since both of us girls needs to be home.. most probably next friday.. and that friday bee... hopefully will be joining... cause he book out already....weee...

so tomorrow.... me babe and pet chipmunk shall have our teh tarik!

won't know what might happen if there werent 2 of 'em guys....

im seriously going to miss my babies and of course the ladies who make me laugh and pee at work! supervisor jo trying to reel me back in... only if my ching ching is raised... i wonder whats like.. life without my dear lilttle darling devils... i miss screaming their names out whenever they'e doing an entirely opposite things of what i asked for... i told a couple of parents already... i have yet to tell the other lot... soon soon... 2 more weeks...

2008-07-06T11:30:00.001+08:00

Hitting the Big 2... well i hit it already..long ago...

That was pretty scary... It is... it means.. i have to pack up and wave my adolescence's years goodbye... and adulthood seems to be knocking on my door..

It seems that every decision i make right now seems to have an effect on me in the future...

and now money matters alot.... and i hate to think that i could just spend my money sub-conciously.. and spent nearly 3/4 of my pay within a few days..

im still am putting myself back to studying.. now im just tryinng to figure out where... and what.. i have my eyes on Event Management courses available in Perth... its the experience that i yearn for too.. studying abroad.. since its always been a picture stuck in my head for the past 4 years..

I know it wont be super easy for me to let go the things i have back home.. especially the familia and friends...and that special.. but.. i guess im doing it for myself.. i can't let anyone stop me... or except money... maybe money might.. but there's always a way when you have the will..

Bee and I are still walking in the same path=)...

2008-06-16T21:47:00.003+08:00

i had
.2 pancakes
.an instant cup noodles
.5 pieces of longan
.2 cups of milk
.a cup of carrot juice

thats all i had for the past 2 days... and i have not not slept... since Sunday morn' 10am til now.. thats like... 36 hours?..well i did i but for 3 hours.. and im not sleepy nor hungry.. well sure the stomach is making so much noise but i cant swallow anything in..

i don't know what going to happen to me afterwards.. i have a feeling i might blackout..

2008-06-09T23:16:00.005+08:00

i so want to follow my parents up to our yearly holiday spot... Pulau Redang.. this shall be their last time heading up there and it sucks that im not joining..

to think been having to return to the same place for the past 10 years might get a lil stale... i miss it dearly since there were staffs that seen me grow up.. and friends that i knew for 4 years.. i miss the suite that i have been staying!!!

after 10 years... going to miss the sand..the sea... kayaking.. snorkeling..BANANA BOAT! PARA SAILING!!!... endless nights of pool and karaoke.. the chaos with the group that my dads brings in..

im super duper extra uper tempted to go.. but still i cant let 8 of my friends down...

its hard to let this one go.. im praying for a miracle that there shall be one more hopefully next year..

anyways.. i had sew over on saturday night.. slept over and we got a little bit crazy with the cameras..

im underneath the quilt!

oh yes.. my korean name is... SUNG HYUN AE... same meaning as my own.. caring=)=).. don't you roll your eyes

2008-06-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

im obsessing with my past
clueless of the future
ignorant of the present

dreams is what i want
faith is what i have
hope is what i need
and failure is what i get

2008-05-30T20:46:00.002+08:00

this month sucks... sucks sucks suck..

i am just fucking pissed with the entire fucking universe seriously... fuck global warming... fuck the rise of fuel cost... fuck taxi drivers who wont allow me to use 'nets' when they have it but find it so troublesome to use.... fuck to my freaking phone company inisiting i pay the fucking bill when they charge with '3 out of 5 months bill with additional of 200 bucks' which i did not use.. and fuck the crazy dude who keeps hitting on me!.... just fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

fucking pissed.. so leave me alone...

2008-05-28T22:32:00.002+08:00

it time for... Kids Say The Darnest Thing.....
i must be absolutely bored with my life that i took the time and liberty to do this......

Re-N: Jo-L do you want to marry me?
Jo-L: No I cant. I am marrying C-tong.
Re-N: TEACHER FIFI!!! JO-L DON"T LIKE ME!!!

only 4 bloody years old and confident in marrying his 'girlfriend'. And i cant tell you how fiesty his girlfriend can be when i got the chance of disciplining him.

C-Tong; TEACHER FIFI! WHY ARE YOU SCOLDING MY JO-L!
Me: And why my dear miss C-Tong can i not scold him?
C-Tong: Cause he is my boyfriend and you cannot scold him you know!(with her finger pointing at my nose)

Me: My-Ren.. can I marry you?
My-ren: No cannot cause when I grow up to be a man and by that time you will be an old woman already!
Me: So.. Who should i marry?
My-ren: You are a working adult so must find a man.
Me: I'm only 20! Im not an adult yet!
My-ren: So you still a teenager. Must grow older a little bit..get an occupation and then find someone your age ah.

haiz... kids kids kids...

2008-05-26T22:28:00.003+08:00

my poor baby after her surgery.. i couldn't blame her for screaming in pain after regaining her conscious..... she did stopped when i held her head though.. she just needed sense of security.. just like her mommy...anyways she'll be back home safely tomorrow!.. half day leave granted!!

im still figuring out which is unbearable to look at... this or the email about the breast infested with larvaes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2008-05-25T12:59:00.001+08:00

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

don't know why- norah jones

2008-05-24T16:16:00.004+08:00

okay.. everything shall be alright...
baby shall have her surgery and costing me nearly a thousand bucks..
thus concludes that im postponing my trip to perth... most probably august..

still quitting my job in july.. from then.. shall spend most my time being a house mom for my baby... she can barely move for the next 2 months.. so yeah.. im still having a short break then at home with her..

i felt like this whole entire week pass by oh so slowly..

this whole week has been a drama really.. and one of the highlights was naz.. i was ambushed with questions and got one or two blows from here and there... i feel oh so 'My Best Friend Wedding'.... i seriously need to watch that movie..

2008-05-23T18:35:00.002+08:00

im hanging on by a thread.. im just hoping that i could just fall and fall and fall...
im losing my only best friend.. my only companion and my soulmate for 7 years..
im losng myself soon as well...

2008-05-21T22:48:00.002+08:00

the battle between d.cook & d.archuleta...

david cook is a rocker... and yes like every rocker we had for the past 7 seasons... i doubt he could win the battle.. don't get me wrong that im underestimating his talents.. this dude can sing... and really sing.. not those yelling or screaming from the top of their lungs.. i believe as a rocker.. he is truly a better singer than chris daughtry from season 5... but hey.. you see rockers in every season.. so people might get stale of the rock genre..

so... comparing with david archuleta... he... he's different... he's pure.. his genre is definitely ballads ... he's young .. able to sing way beyond his years... he's been hitting the nail for nearly every round... favorite of the judges... but i dont know.. popularity wise.. he could lose out to d.cook....

we should know the results in 20 hours time... and daddy is turning a year older in an hour time too... =)

oh so randomly... jude law and simon cowell are just so sexy..

2008-05-19T21:56:00.003+08:00

i want my own Joe Black...
oh god... can Brad Pitt be any sexier playing Death...=)

the long weekend really sucks especially when you're like limping for the past 3 days....
but hey.. it a good thing when you have cable and when HBO is like showing 'My Girl'.. 'Meet Joe Black'...'Loser.....'Fly Away Home' ...

'Fly Away Home' is a truly inspiring movie based loosely on a true event... my favorite childhood movie.. which comes after 'My Girl'... i have no idea how i would really cope living in a funeral home.. maybe i'll end up like Veda herself.. a hypochondriac...

i got sunshine...

2008-05-18T15:48:00.004+08:00

went for ice skating.. finally... after 9 years?... someone finally accompanied me... it was nice to be on ice again... but i guess i was better the previous time... but but but.. this time round.. no falling down... maybe the next time round i'll bring vani...

2008-05-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

my giselle's message will always bring a huge smile on the face... Giselle and Rosdy... cant wait to meet up with my favorite maties... Perth Perth Perth!!!

2008-05-16T09:16:00.002+08:00

a super long weekend for me!!!!!!

no work tomorrow til tuesday!... and tuesday is half day for me...brilliantly fantastic!

im seriously counting down the days til perth... most probably is a 2months 3 weeks stay since my aunt is coming back for Hari Raya... which falls on Children's Day...

i have no idea what i shall do tomorrow....
i know i need to head off to the library... and book my bbq pits!...saded... need to go to the bank... collect my jeans from the shop.. sleep more... and then jogging with sew.. .. hopefully supper tonight...

2008-05-14T22:04:00.001+08:00

another group date this saturday!
my darling bitches...
why does it feel like its been too long?

2008-05-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

gosh... my priorities have to be looked at... and i swear to God i have such a hard time thinking about it... im really going super super crazy..vani worries for me too much.... im like heavily burdened with all these troubles that i personally caused to myself...

my mood?.... don't fuck with me or i shall personally give you a knocking up you will never forget in a lifetime... im just shagged...

can't wait to go for jogging... tomorrow and friday...

needs to book for the bbq pit...hmm.... remind me please!

2008-05-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

work today is extra extra extra extra tiring... i don't what are the factors that got me super shagged at work... probably global warming.. or the constant screams of the kids getting super hyped up for 2 birthday parties... or just both....

vani missed me i guessed thats why she returned to school even though she had half the day off... well.. thats what i wished.. haha... she didn't had a choice since she needed to get her kid's book in a much safer place which is her home... so i made her life miserable when i told her when i could lock it up in my kids locker... could have saved her the trouble coming back to work.. haha.. but anyway.. i got to have dinner with her and desserts... at our 'favorite' cafe...

why do i feel its like friday?.... im just totally shagged!

2008-05-03T02:30:00.003+08:00

a girl can only take this many disappointments...

2.30 am.... online mahjong still confuses me..

anyways... had a wonderful time with sew hamd der and dan today.... great laughs with the mat educated and the beng ah heng... sew was pretty tired.. love my name chocolate..

ever since 'My Best Friend Wedding'.. i have always been fascinated about gays... ever since then i pray to God to get me a nice gay friend... He's yet to grant me one really.. cause til now I think Gays.. in general are the most fun bitches to be around with... don't forget that Gay guys are amazingly good looking...

rand promise me we shall club at PLAY... im still waiting.. i better have one before i hit to perth=)...

2008-05-02T03:48:00.002+08:00

its close to 4 in the morning... and i have yet to get some shut eye... but no im still blogging about it... amazingly my brain cells are just too active...

either that or im too hungry to sleep and my back hurts alot.. maybe thats why i cant get to lala land...

an hour ago my bro was still chatting with his girlfriend and i was concentrating fully in my poker game.. and pinky got too chilly in my room after having her fur shaved off and sought for another gd sleeping area.. my sis probably dreaming of some hot guy and now off to some fantasy island... haiz..

i really need to kick my head or something..

2008-05-01T21:21:00.004+08:00

i need a 'cheer me' up... i just don't want to coop all day at home tomorrow... i think i can filled up a well...haiz.... im just giving up on this.. im simply too tired... im soooooo need a new change of environment... i can't wait for my sweet sweet sweet beautiful Perth... save my soul will ya?

and today's highlight of the day... mom gave dad the finger... sweet moment=)...and yes.. my bro officially have a girl... yup.. i can't believe it but my younger brother is dating...

2008-05-01T11:14:00.002+08:00

woke up had a nice family breakfast... and then... a huge huge huge migraine... followed by some activities in my stomach...

2008-04-30T20:43:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to my lil bro!

oh gosh... im in the mood where i just want a huge tub of Ben&Jerry icecream and have a movie marathon... which consist.. Jerry McGuire.. Breakfast club.. The Sweetest Thing.. Lake House.. The Replacement.. My Bestfriend Wedding a definite must!!!

serve me right for drinking 3 bottles of yakult... thank god i finally made it to my toilet bowl=)...

finally its wed.. and i can lok forward to my loooooong weekend holiday.... i specially took leave this friday to unwind... suppossingly have a date... but i don't know... aint looking good... but im simply too tired to care for this personal part of my life...

hopefully me and vani can get body massages appointment tomorrow... all i can do is hope..and pray really hard!!... i need it really bad...you think working with kids is all joy and fun... think again... there are just time when we felt like killing ourselves with carbon monoxide or just bump our heads against the walls!!! but bottom story... kids are the greatest joy in my life...=)

whoppee...getting my ben&jerry... followed by Chicken Little=)

2008-04-29T23:11:00.003+08:00

im so darn sleepy... Mr Sandman had probably placed a heavy sack of sleeping dust on my eyes...

had a date with deary vani... oh gosh... i owe her alot... we both are really going to miss each other's company during and after work when im gone... thursday will be another date... cant wait...

i really threw my temper with my kids today.... finally.. my true colours... should have done it long ago...

and yes... i love daniel chan very very very much?..

2008-04-28T20:36:00.002+08:00

im still chasing my dreams.... always chasing... and always discouraged... sometimes i don't know how far i can go on chasing with the 'unrealistic' remarks being thrown at me...

i still feel like i cant make up my own decisions.. i blame them...

i think i just have to take matters onto my own hands...

2008-04-24T19:58:00.003+08:00

after 3 bottle of yakult and half a cup of my coffee.... it finally kicked my bowel... thank goodness.. i can't stand this annoying constipation.. i don't really like looking like a 3 months old preggo babe..

im considering colouring my hair and get my fringe highlighted with another colour this time... i shall my hair all black.. and yes... purple highlights.. oh gosh.. gothic... so not fiza ishk.... green maybe.. haha.. i love lime green....

this hand-foot-mouth-disease is truly beyond control... how it got this disastrous we all have no idea why.. all i know is that im super glad that everything in under control back at work and we are not taking any chances if any slightest symptoms were to be shown.. im like a hygiene freak at work ... im like the toilet traffic and hygiene police in my class...

2008-04-21T22:31:00.003+08:00

'Lake House' makes me weep all the time...

i am left with only less than 2 weeks to decide on a date to fly off... im stuck in between 26,27,28 june.. then im hoping for a chalet before i head on to perth...

speaking of perth... my dad is making me to scout for schools during my 3 months stay... so im really hoping that i could get hold of a course that is potentially be the path of a bright future for me... if only i could move up to Tasmania... theres the zoology course there... oh fuck fuck fuckity fuck..

dear god... i cant wait for my sweet escape...

2008-04-20T22:05:00.006+08:00

you do not...be with them and not fall in love with them more... love love love them all oh so deep deep..=)

and yes chan ah dan... i love you so much=)

2008-04-09T21:32:00.002+08:00

the society can be a poison at times...

2008-04-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

watched An Empress and The Warriors with der.. my main plan was to head down to Kallang leisure Mall and get myself an hour or 2 skating on ice.. alone..

well.. since i have asked all my friends to join me.. and no one seems to be interested in my interest.. like what the heck.. i rather be doing it alone then not doing it at all... i better get used doing things solo sometimes..

oh yes.. there was a dead frog in my playground.. the poor ugly excuse for a creature i believed has been squashed by one of my innocent students.. and the sun mercilessly heat it up like a bull eyes egg....

i have always been fascinated with chinese history... and yes.. old school war are always the best... i love arrows fly highing in the sky and then miraculously hits a person eyes=)... swords waved everywhere and the in an instant.. the heads gone and all the blood just SPLAT... right on your face.. one on one battle with the swords excites me the most... and yes.. i always do pity those innocent horses...

can't wait to take up fencing=)

2008-04-06T18:30:00.001+08:00

i have decided... june 27... shall be a day i'll be waiting for.. im just wondering how am i going to fork out $737...

2008-04-05T20:40:00.002+08:00

i fear if i waste more time sending her to the hospital.. i might have another loss.. not her.. not when she's all i have..

i truly hate working 6 days straight...

oh dear God..
leave me drowning in my remedy...
leave me drowning in my own world..
leave me drowning so helplessly..
oh so helplessly..

2008-04-03T21:21:00.002+08:00

my baby is sick... poor deary..

a week ago she's been wheezing.. and i assumed that it's her fur that giving her such a hard time... so i sent her for grooming.. and when she came back.. she came back looking like a mice... a white mice... well.. a white mice meets poodle...since her head and feet were not shaved off!... yes.. she was shaved off...

that night wheezing stopped... so glad.. but my bro called me up and inform that she started breathing heavily.. thats when i know that she might have lung problems or simply asthma.... but still i need to send her for consultation... i can't afford to lose my precious baby...

she's like the main concern whenever i need to go or be away for a period of time.. i cant stand not bringing her along all the time!

2008-03-31T23:31:00.002+08:00

for you i bleed myself dry..

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and all the things they do for you

YELLOW by coldplay

2008-03-30T21:59:00.005+08:00

i can't stand frogs.. i truly hate frogs...

volunteer out today... the people?.. some so down right arrogant but some are just down to earth.. the exhibition sends out all right message....

personally thanked us for volunteering out.. I got to meet the guy who was behind all of this... he was really nice.. came up to us and The Open Your Heart Campaign was a commitment that he made... his friend real life experiences inspired him to embark on this project that comes to a stop after 2 years of research..funding..filming and advertising..

----------------------------------------------
Open Your Heart, as the name suggests, is an initiative thought up by a group of youth volunteers who see the need to raise the awareness of HIV/AIDS and its social implications through the creative use of a film and a photography exhibition.

The campaign hopes to reach out to youths to open their hearts to empathize with people living
with HIV/AIDS and realise that the disease is more susceptible than we actually think it is

The 30 minutes film, titled “August 29″, is about a girl who makes a surprise return to her ex-boyfriend James. What James did not know was she had contracted AIDS and was dying. James cried when he found out, but there wasn’t anything he could do except to walk her till the end of her life.

2008-03-30T00:59:00.000+08:00

dan miss me!.. haha.. poor boy..

im up so early today thanks to me for sleeping so early last night and the noise my family was making as they get ready to go out for breakfast.. i couldn't be bothered to join since they the reason why i headed bed early....

once they were out i slide off the bed and head to the laptop and check out for 'The Sweet Escape'... my project.. 1st May til 4th May

THE SWEET ESCAPE , 1st -3rd May....Destination..Pulau Tioman... lodging.. pinning on Berjaya Resort...
let us cross our fingers... pray for the good on Tuesday guys!!!

today... i wasted my Saturday doing nothing..absolutely nothing.. i should really hire someone to kick me in the head cause seriously i could have used my precious hours finishing up with my month and months due assignments like i was supposed to .. on Wednesday.. instead i had long chat with poor naz whom i accompanied to the doctor and to Banquet for dinner.. poor lad.. i wonder how's he doing..

gosh... the only man i could never really let go from my life will only be my late paternal grandfather.... no guy that i came across with will be as good as he was.. he was truly the man of my dreams... i really really call him sexy whenever i visited him.. i would always give him a kiss on the cheeks and he will always tease me about me being so skinny like my mom's mom... to think that i could still hear him from the back of my head.. to think i could really visualize him sitting in front of me and doze off as he watches his favorite Indonesian drama... sometimes i would stare at the mirror to find the resemblance of him in me.. the only thing we physically share is our loud voice and dark skin..

but is the fact that he never told me that he was dying when he really knew he was...
just makes me all welled up every time.. i was his little girl.. he knew that i needed him by my side.. he knew that he could at least tell me that he's going to leave me... til this day.. i still can consider myself lost without him..

now how often can you call your grandfather sexy without getting a knock on your head.. i rarely..and i would really like to emphasize RARELY... communicate with my maternal grandfather who is still much alive and healthy..

---------------------------------------------
enough with that...... met up with dan & cher & ner & hamd... eat at simpang.. settling our 'Sweet Escape'... and still settling though..... oh God.. i have a huge major migraine.. i need to sleep it off..

2008-03-26T21:22:00.004+08:00

isn't rayd cute.. he's holds the title 'Fifi's Son' in the centre

introducing the school TEDDY!!!

2008-03-26T15:09:00.003+08:00

me and my baby=)

2008-03-26T13:55:00.003+08:00

a day off... its meant for using the entire day to complete my months long due assignment.. and yes.. some chores of my own too... but instead i used half the day sleeping... well.. i do need sleep... really do... i think its my favorite past-time...

i finally completed constructing the blog.. if you don't like it.. bite me!... im already up til my head dealing with this html codes.. i think its simple.. and just nice.. i love my song 'Linger'.. Actually The Cranberries are so 90s but they do rock.. well until their lead singer did her own solo.. but i still worship them.. you know im such a fool for you.......

i already have many dates to look forward to... like somewhere in April...May..June..and lastly August... I swear I cant wait for my August to come... and hopefully im done with this course that i so painfully regret although having to know my students are the most amazing thing that happened to me.. and yes.. i will say 'toodles' to work.. and embark on a soul searching holiday=)....

But to embark the journey.. im cutting down on Ben & Jerry.. cabbing to/back from work.. shopping... sakae sushi.. dvds rentals.. mobile phone usage.. and no.. never am i cutting down my dosage of caramel macchiato...

2008-03-24T23:12:00.002+08:00

everytime my earpiece goes missing.. i get so pissed early in the morning.. and today i had only 5 hours of sleep and after work i promised myself to be asleep by 9... and now.. im watching Seinfield on cable.. eyes glued... wide open...

27 Dresses is nice and Accepted is hilarious... their leading men... may not be hot guys.. but they are indeed.. smooth talkers... well ain't that charming =)...

2008-03-23T14:54:00.001+08:00

its so frustrating......

a temporary skin for the blog... so since.. im sick of revamping it... im not blogging for the next few days.... maybe the week...

2008-03-22T03:40:00.004+08:00

this is what happens when you have sleepless night and still up at 4 am.... your wire got a lil bit loose...

my body is still bloody sore... i might probably get a MC... probably Wednesday... i could probably spend the day wondering what to wear for the fashion party im attending that evening... well yes.... probably..=)

but as cool & exciting as the party sounds..... im dreading to go.... i rather volunteer out the 'Open Your Heart' that Ripplevox was having that is to fight discrimination against HIV positive...... but instead... they got me into the guest list..

damn... woke up at 3pm and im still woozy... coffee doesnt help... and yes.. the weather being incredibly cooling doesnt help either... i just felt like snuggling under my quilt and drown in my bed..

im not too happy with my blogskin... wondering how on earth am i going to fix it.... sod it.. im resting this weekend... im not going to let myself worrying about little shitnitz

2008-03-21T14:04:00.002+08:00

i hate not looking forward for something within 2 weeks....

the chalet is over... my body aches.... our body were positioned in ways that you never thought it was ever possible to do so..... so much struggle and body contact.. i ended up with a cut.. bruised wrist.. sore thighs and sore arms..... yes.. a voice like a man...

2008-03-19T22:00:00.002+08:00

been their fan for.. over 10 years now...they looked great when they started out and they look much fabulous 10 years after... i so worshipped Posh.. she was like.. The Ultimate...

i might say hello to perth again...

2008-03-16T21:05:00.003+08:00

i already have a bad start in the morning with the family....
mom & retarded dickhead brother of mine thinks i really have anger management problem... cause im a very angry lady...

i just think im a confused person who doesn't know what to do.. so i vent all my negative energy towards anybody who just ticks her off in any smallest possible way...

and then during my date with darling dan... it really got intense.. we really bickered... i meant really bickered... but harmless.. definitely harmless..

we went to Suntec Exhibition Hall for the Australian Education Showcase.. I was hoping that i could get some answer and finally a goal to be achieved.

But as always.. hope fails me... i really never like hope...

im... im... im.. im just having a huge mental block... til this day... i still am so confused...

2008-03-16T11:39:00.002+08:00

Rule No.1

The movie is good. There's is nothing in the movie that can be predicted so you'll always be at the edge of your seat... The sound effect just freaks you out...

The storyline is brilliant.
Shawn Yue is brilliant.

So.. if you really want to spend your money on something good... This movie shall be it...

i really hope Hollywood wont have a remake on this... they suck at the rebirth of 'The Grudge' & 'The Eye'.. so i wont be surprised when they failed remaking 'Shutter'..

2008-03-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

let bygones be bygones...

but can we, human really forget about the past and not have one moment when you just want to strangle yourself or another person that caused so much pain and suffering.. im not only saying about me... but in general as well..

how long have we all lived.. how many painful memories that we sub-consciously kept in our mind... no matter how much you wish to forget someone or an incident that was painful.. you can never just get it away can you?

for someone like me... i would choose to avoid such topics that links to a particular past that i chose to bury.. i would go to the extreme by throwing away any physical being that reminds me of it... i would... and i did... and i will never mention about it... and always pretend that nothing had happened... but still your mind never helped you much.... by conscious it never existed... but somewhere in your brain... in a small dark corner... there it lies... quietly...and it can pop out from its shell just when you werent expecting it....

for some others.. they would much prefer to get it over and done with...won't like matters hanging around like a thread... talk things through... get to the root of the matter... its not satisfying to be left unsolved.. you want to know why & how... and once you get to the bottom of it... you'll have this peace in your heart... so when in years to come.. you can just look back.. and laugh it off...its understandable.. no one really want any bad memory lingering in your life..

i do fall under this category as well..
------------------------------------------------

i am no friend of hope...

hope;
.to believe, desire or trust
.grounds for this feeling in a particular instance

for everytime i hope.... hope fails me...

2008-03-12T23:29:00.002+08:00

some idiot call me up in the wee early of mornin... fuck you rand for ruining my sleep... like i not know whens my birthday... you and dan will get a hell of a nagging from me..

at work... SK is now my lovely boyfriend... Teddy & Shadow B1 and Shadow B2 are my sons.. Shadow B1 loves to talk about shopping and my Shadow B2 loves to stick out his tongue.. My Teddy loves to 'mummum' & loves his 'chut chut'..

what are dreams really.. do they have anything to tell us really?

2008-03-11T22:38:00.006+08:00

my ex-hubby wants a samsung F700 while i....crave for LG U990.... We love love love the Korean phones=)...

ex-hubby,dan i mean,, ... everytime i say out ex-hubby... i got chills running down my spine... lets set a date to get our dream phone..JULY?

at work..i have 2 boys tailing me wherever i go... the staffs finds it cute since they are always waiting for me while i make milk.. go to the toilet... change other students diaper... give others their shower and even talk to parents... its like they're my shadow.. its cute for the first few days... but after a while..it get so tiring.. my supervisor says im lucky to have the boys following me around.. if they were in their early or mid twenties i wouldnt care at all...

today.. something randomly happened... but it was nice.. the date got a bit weird at first.. for me.. but it was okay i think... im not sure if theres a second date but..i guess.. lets see how the future will bring us together..or not....i dont know... i hate hoping..it fails me so many times....=)=)

2008-03-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

Happy International Women's Day!

nothing gets in between of my caramel macchiato and me...unless its pinky... my baby is oh so darling to me=)

so what should i get for myself?..a nitendo or.. a new phone.. i always eyed on that LG KU990.. koreans do know how to make sophisticated phone.. be it LG or Samsung... or should i just wait til its july... hmm..tempting..

im so over it. no question ask
im happy.

2008-03-08T21:03:00.001+08:00

im so tired....

got early to work for the preparations for the seminar... i hurried myself to make my classroom all clean and neat.. and made things convenient for the parents... from bevarges to the seating arrangement to the notes preparation..rush rush rush.... halfway with it.. me and vani made plans for coffee... apart from the rush, our supervisor blow up just made us all so so exhausted...

parents brought their kids along.... although they were screaming and making all kinds of possible noises that will just blow your top... my eyes couldnt help but to shut...

i just wished i could do nothing in my life but fill my head with books and drink coffee...

2008-03-07T23:55:00.006+08:00

me and dan are couple from this day on.... and until sunday=) shall we?....we shall

us, ex-married couples, had dinner and then drinks.... and we toasted to our 1 crazy wild & lovely year together.. actually 5 years.. its really is a fun ride with dan..
we missed our days being the 3... me.. jason..daniel... to this day.. im still wondering ehat makes us click since the 3 of us are just like aliens to one another but still able to come into the same path..

i always think that the korean drama 'Gong' is just pure innocent... so make me wanna cry!

2008-03-03T22:39:00.010+08:00

my bitch date with my darling dan

we entered ramen ten... and we exit it as soon as we settled at our seats.. reason why?.. i craved for my sakae sushi... but once we got to sakae sushi.. we dismissed it since it had a long que.. brilliant me... and so.. we went to pizza hut.. which is honestly not worth any cent that i was suppose to be paying since its dan's treat...

missed dan to the core... more than 2 weeks!.. its very very the long you know!... so anyways,,, once we settled in pizza hut.. had our dinner served.. we toasted to our... what was it dan? our hook-up since we're divorced.. he has the custody of kids and yes the samsung phone..

tonight was to be our date... meaning only 2 of us.. but i bumped in into an old old friend... AYUNNI!... she was like my first best girlfriend.. back when i was young naive and stupid..hold on im still young!!! ... we like.. live next to each other.. im in block ruby and she's sapphire.. which is just adjacent to my block... but me never spoke to one another for like a long period of time which i honestly feel like in a decade... i think its time for a reunion babe!...

we just love each other oh so so so so deep right darling dan?... cause we got each other's back.. so dont worry so much deary!.. im still here for you.. and in time to come... and yes.. coffee makes us both want to shit badly=)

2008-03-02T16:37:00.004+08:00

dan: will you marry me?

me: yes if i was drunk plus blind

the next thing you knew.. he wants a break up.. custody of the samsung phone.. and yes the kids..

cant wait for tomorrow
bitch date with my darling dan=)

-------------------------------------
ATTENTION TO

THE DARLINGS HEADING REDANG

Date have been changed... so please take note.
Since im uncapable to make the arrangements..
my dad shall do so.. thus ..
our dates shall be 13 june til 18 June

next...............

MY DARLING GIRLFRIENDS

a girl night out?
what about it?.. no boys.. just the lot of us..
Friday Night? 14th March?
Movie..Dinner..Desserts... Girl talk..

2008-03-02T13:49:00.005+08:00

how long have we all knew each other?
how well do we know one another?
how far have we gone for one another?
how much have we done together?

sometimes you feel its not enough and sometimes you just feel that we've been there forever..

all of us have our own dramas
all of us have our own secrets

but in the end.. all of us... still have the rest of us... for each other...

2008-02-29T22:34:00.003+08:00

oh gosh... i cant wait for my monday..

monday means movie with dan!..and i know at this point of time... i seriously in need of dan & the gang..

i miss my dosage of laughter..

its like this whole work thing just burns you out and suck out all the youth in me... im not complaining my work..i love it..

i love my kids to death.. they're adorable and they're what makes me smile when all things gone wrong... they just say the darnest thing.. i got my Vicky to point to who is T'cher fifi and all she say is Bangkok... i wonder who taught her that.. probably my supervisor... and then there's my 'son'.. my bundle of joy.. rayden.. he never stop talking.. thats what i love about him.. he will say the darnest thing and i will laugh and laugh.... then comes Teddy... that boy is like a wolf in sheep's clothing.. dont under estimate his cuteness cause he as a temper of a bear.. trust me.. he threw tantrums for hours and then when he smiles cheekily at you... those hours of getting piss were gone...

i have a k2 boy claiming his my sweetheart... a k1 girl asked me if i had painted my hair and i replied yes... one of my 'babies' insist on tying up my hair.. and a n2 darling wont stop asking for a 'snow white' story everytime she goes for her nap...

so if you ask me if i hate my job... no... the kids are wonderful... its the adults who are just vicous!
so the problem lies on the adults and not the children...

now get this... im trying up for humanitary work... =).. trying to be volunteers in any organisation i could get my hands into.. im already up for volunteering the 'Open Your Heart' campaign that raises awareness and fight HIV/AIDS against discrimination... breaks my heart to see children in Africa dying every second due to AIDS & brutal poverty.. its really isnt their fault.. nor their parents....what Africa is lacking is not money.. its just education & love....

Dear God

2008-02-28T21:35:00.004+08:00

a whisper of prayer

forgive me God
for i have greatly sin
for when my friends & family preach
i just turn the other cheek

im too stubborn for my own good
and i realised it before i could dig out my own grave

i may have realised it earlier
but i have so much to regret
and yet its not too late for me
for that im am grateful to you

i plea you to give me courage
faith strength and some sense in me

and even will all the cruel things i have done against your wishes
i kept thinking how You shall judge me
i kept thinking in fear how hell shall treat me
i kept thinking with humility how my late grandfather will think of me
as he watches over me in heaven..

Dear God,
is he with you?
i always wonder if my dearest grandfather stand next to you
and watches me down below ..
i always wonder if i ever made him cry..
i always wonder have i been his greatest disappointment until now?

Dear God,
could you apologise him for me,
could you tell him that i still hope that i
still am his favorite little girl in his heart?

i want him to know
until today i could still hear his voice in the back of my head
until today i still yearn for his kiss
until today i still loved him since the day he left me alone..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ojissan
you're haunting me
so im not enjoying as much as you think i am
but i know im not going to stay in this state for long
im going to push myself to enjoy my life as much as i could

im not going to regret every single thing
but im going to treat that nothing had happened
you never existed..
and so does your son...

-------------------------------------------------------------

2008-02-27T21:12:00.017+08:00

i too more than 200pictures.. do i look like im bothered to publish every single one of them?.. anyways.. a picture paints a thousand words...

pictures says a thousand words!

2008-02-22T14:22:00.003+08:00

all my bags are packed
and i'm ready to go...

im leaving on a jet plane
i don't know when i'll be back again..

well i do know and by tuesday afternoon i'll be over with my bangkok trip! As i write i'm in the departure hall using their free internet=).. mom and dad went window shopping and i wanted to be more adventurous on my own so yeah... i even asked for my own window seating seperated although its only less than 3 hours of flight..

so once i reach friendly bangkok... all my worries and problems shall hoepfully be gone and i could concentrate on finding gay buddies=)...

wait for the new me on tuesday..hopefully=)

2008-02-20T23:12:00.002+08:00

failed failed failed my stupid basic theory test.... i was like fuming mad!.... I felt like killing someone.... Dan came into mind at first for not answering my calls.. but he was having fever... so i shall spare his life....

so me and der head to foo's house!... kevin was there... he is so cute.. too young for me.. either too young or just too old...

i just laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh..

I MISS MY DANIEL CHAN!!!
GET WELL SOON DARLING!
THEN WE SHALL HAVE OUR DATES!

this is funny.. i think..

Fiza:derran.. lets pretend that we're on a date
Der: ee No!.. I dont date people who don't eat pork!

Dan:You're new name is going to be Summer..
Dan:Summer
Fiza:Yes
Dan:You're going to be my new dog!
Fiza:Fuck you!

2008-02-19T18:34:00.005+08:00

i think gain weight...
i think im not sttled yet...
i think i can be in deep trouble..
i think im the most fickled minded person in the world!

things i want and shall do in Bangkok!
1)shop shop shop shopping
2)a complete hair make over
3)GAY BARS & CABARET SHOWS!!
4)make GAY friends... yes how interesting
5)visit the Royal Palace & the famous Buddha Lying Statue
6)Siam Ocean world! have a dive with the sharks!!!!

2008-02-15T20:03:00.004+08:00

yesterday was valentine's day and not to forget rand's sweet sixteen!

valentine's day.. honestly i wasn't in the mood for it... the lack of sleep was the cause of it and an email that i got from someone... just makes my head spins more... so thats why i got so so so so super quiet when met up with the darlings...

headed down to east coast park... i really hated coming back... but since its with the darlings it was all good... and later on i jumped back into my crazy mood... we had our dinner...SEAFOOD & yes satay too...

our activities after dinner were supposed to be celebrate the birthday and then have the night cycling... but too bad night cycling wasnt fulfilled due to MOM... nevermind.. i just have to suck it up until i get back to bangkok....

and bangkok.. im still wondering how much i shall bring!

and yes.. to my dear dan.. der & rand... thank yo for the roses.. as stupid as it may sound.. it was my first time receiving one=)... i still wish for sunflowers..

sew and i have not meet for 2 months!

in this corner.. all the piggies!
and here stand the 3 ultimate bitches

i got cherlyn to smash the cake to rand's face.. and i got rand to smack cher's ass with the cake.. im truly the devil behind all of it...
i hate hate hate hate hate hate truly hate frogs!

2008-02-12T20:07:00.001+08:00

i rented out 'You've got Mail' & '50 First Date'..

'You've Got Mail' starring Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks.. tom hanks is just adorable even when he past mid 50s i think... at the end of the movie makes you say... 'i really wish i could have that feeling'... and meg ryan & tom hanks really make a good chemistry... they so look good together...'sleepless in seattle' was when they first hook up..

& '50 First Date'... i dont wish that i was in that situation at all.. but to have the Adam Sandler's character, making the girl, fall in love with him again every single day... truly amazing...

bangkok.. here i come! & my mp3 goes haywire at the wrong timing!

2008-02-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

4 days of rest has gone... still not enough!! I have yet to do more sleeping & resting...

i have yet to meet up my darling dan for our bitch date.. since first week of jan.. like a month...

i knew who spill the beans about me and the ojissan.... wonderful.... mind your own business please.. im thankful to have such parents, really, for allowing me to be an adult making my own decisions finally.... if i knew my mom well.. it must have been hard for her not to scream and dig information from me.... so whoever that is snooping around.. mind your own business..

and daddy.. im hoping you stop playing mind games with me and just tell me straight if you're buying my bangkok ticket!... stop leaving me hanging on a thread..

2008-02-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

my yummy lunch

pinky make herself comfortable seeing me cleaning up the pigsty!

yup a tsunami visited my room

eversince mom asked me if i was pregnant.. i was hoping for her to ask me again whenever i wear maternity-like clothes... i was hoping to scare her off... but to make the record straight.. im still a fucking maiden=)

i love having a full length mirror in my room

my vain moment...

der's ban the sweet temptations!

my venti-size caramel macchiato... the mug is super huge!!!

my guiltless fat free mango cheesecake! guiltless&fat free

doesn't it look like a heart?.. it was cute until drank it up...

slacking at starbucks 2 days in a row... and after drinking my caramel macchiato... my stomach makes so much noise!

met up with der&cher for lunch yesterday.. we had japanese at Ramen Ten.. but I so prefer Sakae Sushi.. more affordable plus.. more varieties. and the things i asked for are just no available la.. fucking hell..

after that we Starbuck-ed for like 4 hours.. reminiscing our secondary school days... and yes... i really learn my lesson... never to talk about me and my mom boxing incident... der can be such an asshole! but i still love him!

earlier on.. went to starbucks again... met up with der..ner..cher.. and rand... we're so looking forward for our Redang trip and Valentines Day!!! SUNFLOWERS=)

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i so love watching Happy Feet! Penguins are just the cutest thing!..

movies i so want to watch... i think its valentine season so yeah..
.50 first date!!... i so so so so so so so so want to watch this again and again and again!!!
.the notebook
.just like heaven

I think i can look forward to Bangkok... I think... My parents are really confusing me... shit..
i still dont know if i m going or im not... hopefully yes...

looking forward for the floating market.. jungle trekking with the elephants and...'pretty ladies'.. i wonder if i could go into a gay bar... wont that be totally awesome=)..